To Stay Here

There was a time in my life that I wished I was anyone but me, anywhere but here, anytime but now.

I was... not content, and in a way, thought that I had a better plan for my life than God did.

I wished my parents were missionaries, wished I lived in Africa, wished I could be doing more - doing something important. There was this big map above my bed, and a globe on my dest, and I would look at all the countries of the world and just want to be anywhere but in my perfect little American home.

My plans. My way. My version of what was best. My vision of what was good.

A hate for the life God had given me, and an anger that He hadn't put me in the life I thought I should have been put in.

And it took me a long time to realize that wishing I was someone else, somewhere else, was accusing God of not getting it right, telling Him that I thought my plan was better, and in all, being ungrateful for who He made me and the specific, wonderful time and place He put me in.

I slowly had to realize that I am here - in this city, in this town, in this family - for a reason. Because if I wasn't, He wouldn't have put me here.

God never does anything without reason. He never just shrugs his shoulders and throws someone into life without a plan and a purpose and a journey perfectly tailored to them.

No - every person has been placed in their lives, in their families and countries and circumstances, for a beautiful, uniquely them reason to bring glory to His Name and point others to Him.

If we wish for something different - a different life, in a different place, with different people - we are being ungrateful to God's beautiful plan, and accusing Him of doing something wrong in our lives.

And God never does anything wrong.

A Quiet Calling

I think part of the reason I wanted to be somewhere else, in another, more exciting life, was because I missed what God was calling me to, right here in front of me.

Reading about missionaries and people doing huge, great things for God, I thought that that was what God called everyone to. I thought that I had to be doing something big and important and story-worthy to truly be bringing God glory.

But that isn't how it works.

Yes, doing great big story-worthy things is important. Yes, it's vital to go out and do things. But it's also just as important to fold laundry and make lunch and bless the people God has placed in your home. It's just as important to play board games with your siblings and make waffles for breakfast and play with your cousins.

Loving the people God has placed in your lives, and in your homes, and in the community around you, is a calling in and of itself.

Because yes, God has called us to go into all the world and make disciples, but He has also called us to love our neighbor as ourselves.

There are seasons of going out, and seasons of quietly loving the people in our homes. There are seasons of making disciples in all the world, and seasons of making disciples of the people right beside you.

We have to remember that God doesn't all call us to the same things, in the same ways, at the same times. We have to remember that God's plan is better, and loving your children and siblings is just as important as anything else.

Don't Miss What's Right Here, In Front Of You

This often... isn't easy. We want to be going out and doing - yet in that we lose sight of the people right in front of our faces, the opportunities right now, right here, that God has planned for us.

We keep looking forward to "big" things and miss the beautiful, perfectly-ordained-by-God little things in front of us.

I have fallen into that "looking forward instead of right here" mindset far too many times to count, but God is slowly teaching me that I can love people just as well here in Indiana, as across the ocean.

This summer I was planning on going to Europe for some of the summer to visit a friend, a few summers ago I was planning on going to Hungary, last fall I dreamt of going to Uganda, and as those plans have been shifted and changed, I've had to stop forcing my way, and let God have His way.

He's had to keep reminding me, over and over, that I am here - right here, right now - for a reason. He has a plan for me, and His plan includes where I was born, the doors opening and closing in front of me, and every tiny little detail in between.

Even In The Small

I still desperately want to travel - to go out and make disciples and just go. But right now, God's plan has me in my home, surrounded by my siblings and my parents, loving them and doing the simple things for His glory.

Doing laundry and baking cakes and making milkshakes and watching movies, and loving the people around me. Holding babies and writing words and doing school, and honoring Him in everything I do.

It's so easy to shrug off these little things as less important, or less valuable, or less impactful, but they aren't.

Because everything you do for Him is powerful and beautiful and honoring to Him. Everything you do to serve Him, wherever it is or whoever it's for, brings Him glory. Even if it's small. Even if it's done every day. Even if it's merely a chore.

It can all be done for Him and can all be done in a way that shows your love for Him and His children around you.

I have been reading through Daring To Hope by Katie Davis Majors recently and she had a chapter on living in the now and doing the small things that really hit me. Katie started one of the biggest ministries in Uganda, helping hundreds of children and serving countless communities.

She adopted fourteen girls and has served as a missionary from the time she was nineteen, generously giving her home and her time and her energy to glorify and honor her Savior.

Now, she's a mom, a friend, a homemaker, and some would say she's just those things, even though there's nothing just about being a mom.

But she had to wrestle with wanting to do more. Wanting to see more results and serve more people and do bigger things. She had to realize that there are seasons of loud changes, and seasons of quiet sitting with the Lord, stewarding what He had put in our lives.

There are times to go out, and times to sit down. Times to do like Martha, and times to just listen, like Mary.

And in all of those times, God has a plan for us. A beautiful, uniquely us plan for His glory, in this time, in this place, in our lives.

So whether your life is what you planned, or not, don't wish to be someone else. Don't wish to be somewhere other than where God has put you, right now. Don't try to force His perfect big picture into your tiny puzzle piece.

He's got you - got your life, got your goals and dreams and loves - and He has a plan for all of it, a purpose in everything.

Trust Him.